Zombieland and Melee   2 comments

While I am very fond of Wistric’s Rules of Melee, a second viewing of Zombieland reminded me of just how useful some of the rules are, both on the field and, as it turns out, for marshals.  Also, some of them are not at all useful.

“Cardio” – Almost goes without saying, doesn’t it?
“Double tap” – aka “Kill ’em till they’re dead”  (It was “Ziploc bags” in a deleted scene, which can be ignored, except that when my gear got rained on I really wished it was in ziploc bags)
“Beware of bathrooms” – Er…
“Wear seatbelts” – Er…
“Cast iron skillet” – Er… Actually, having the right tool for the job is probably worth considering
“Travel light” – Lose some weight fatty
“Get a kickass partner” – Yeah
“Bounty paper towels” – Maybe for the marshal’s kit?
“Bowling Ball” – Probably not approved of by the marshallate
“Don’t be a hero.” – Yeah, that shit will get you killed
“Limber up” – Ho yeah
“Avoid strip clubs” – This is just good advice, weird shit happens there.  Or, at least, take along somebody who’ll be a magnet for the freaks.
“When in doubt, know your way out” – Yeah, getting trapped against brush and trees sucks, don’t it?
“The buddy system” – Kind of like having a kickass partner, isn’t it?
“Check the back seat” – aka backfield
“Enjoy the little things” – Like the sound your opponent makes when, tensed up, they release their tension in a barely audible sigh upon realizing you’ve just killed them.  It’s a lesser form of the death rattle.  It’s what I live for
“Swiss army knife” – Most important part of my marshal’s kit
“Clean socks” – Eh…
“Hygiene” – A good principle in general
“Always have backup” – Again, kickass partner.

Now back to fencing…

Posted January 19, 2012 by wistric in Musings

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