Wistric’s Pet Peeve: Don’t Ask Stupid Questions

You’ve probably been there:

We’re standing around with our thumbs up our butts, waiting for lay-on, and the marshals come over to give us a briefing.  Now, this is an excellent time for two things: Listening to the marshals, and keeping your goddamn mouth shut.

Do not say “Is there DFB?”  Assume there is.  (If you don’t know HOW to DFB, asking “How do you DFB?” is perfectly valid!  You should make sure you know how to DFB properly!)

Do not say “Is that well-concealed patch over there in-bounds?”  Assume it is.

Do not say “What happens if we capture rez point?”  What happens is whatever you decide happens once you have enveloped their rez point.

Keeping in mind the “Don’t be stupid” rule in the Atlantian rulebook, don’t ask any further “rules clarifications” questions.  If it’s within the Atlantian rules, assume you can do it.

When the dumbass next to me pipes up and says “Is there DFB?” and the marshals get into a discussion and finally say “No”, I feel I should be obliged to stab him at “Lay on”.  When the dumbass on the other side says “Can we go over in that area?” and the marshals say Yes, but now the enemy knows EXACTLY WHAT OUR PLAN IS, I really am going to kill him at “Lay on”.

There is a phenomenon I’ve encountered that I refer to as “The Wistric Rule”.  Basically, at some point during a series of melees I do something and the marshal thinks, “I should have said something about that.”  And then they do.  When they do this in the middle of the fight, I spend a year longer without a gold scarf.  When they do this after the fight, I’ve been able to execute my strategy, exploit my loophole, and get the victory condition.  And while the marshal proceeds to discuss the change in rules with the fighters, I start looking for the next loophole.

But I swear to Spike, if you stick close my loophole and lay my strategy out for the entire world to see, you will not see anything other than rez point for that entire battle.

 

ETA: Other stupid questions include:
“Can we move their flag?” If you want to move it, and the marshal hasn’t thought about that yet, move it.  Don’t let the opposition in on the secret.  And if the marshal hasn’t thought about whether or not the flags are mobile in a game of capture the flag (which is, let’s face it, pretty essential to scenario design), it’s his own fault if there’s a bruhaha.
“Can we move our flag?” What a great way to cut away a thousand strategic options, and expose your thinking to the enemy.  Again, if the marshal hasn’t thought about it, he’s already made a big mistake.
“Can we team kill?/Is there friendly fire?/Can we suicide?” Somebody asked this once, the marshal said no, and I ended up sitting for half the battle deep in the enemy’s backfield because I got legged.  If you think you should ask this, think about spending fifteen minutes sitting in the dirt, not doing a danged thing.  Then keep your mouth shut.

6 comments to Wistric’s Pet Peeve: Don’t Ask Stupid Questions

  • Dreya

    Hey, do SCA events allow friendly fire? I mean, can you accidentally kill someone on your own team?

  • Ohhhh yeah. I think it happened to Charlotte this past weekend.

  • Exploiting loopholes? such an ugly way to win… 😉

  • Dreya

    In a situation where losing = dying (even just figuratively), isn’t it best to win in whatever manner possible?
    Oh, wait. This is one of those chivalry things, isn’t it?

  • admin

    Guenievre’s giving me crap because I was complaining about a recent argument re: “playing dead” on the Atlantian fencer list.
    Basically, win within a few limits:
    1) Don’t win in such a way that gets anybody hurt, either now or in the future (the “playing dead” probably won’t get you hurt, but sooner or later people are going to start hitting dead people ‘just in case’)
    2) Win in a way that brings you true glory. If you cheat, or just hit too damn hard, people will not remember you as “that awesome fighter who won”, but as “that jackass who cheated”
    3) Win in such a way that the enemy shares their beer with you afterward.

  • Guenievre

    In my world, the way of things is something like:

    Winning gloriously > dying gloriously >>>>>> winning dishonorably.

    But I am very much into the 14th century chivalric ideal – to perhaps a ridiculous level – ie, ever heard of Jean de Luxembourg, King of Bohemia? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_of_Bohemia)

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